• cosmo tip: upon swallowing your lovers semen inform them of how delicious the thousands of souls of unborn children are

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coffeeandklonopin:

carpe diem - seize the day

carpe noctem - seize the night

carpe natibus - seize the ass

(Source: caffeineandcartridges, via fixateonforward)

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  • Obama: Doesn't want to ban porn.
  • Obama: Doesn't want to restrict your internet.
  • Obama: Doesn't want to take away your guns.
  • Obama: Supports gay marriage.
  • Obama: Education for all!
  • Obama: Universal healthcare!
  • Obama: Wants to continue Planned Parenthood!
  • Americans: You're destroying this country.

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  • me: weighs self
  • me: kills self

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  • dentist: *scrapes gums with sharp metal instruments*
  • dentist: ur bleedin because u dont floss

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letsgo-bitchezparadise:

wow
i love being in love :)

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